You Can't Do That on Television

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Season 5

Episodes

1. Courage
Jun 4, 1984

The Smurfs Meet Godzilla will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast must be brave to overcome stage fright as the show's ratings are higher then ever. The kids discuss courage. Kevin tests his courage by wearing a suit of armor.

0.0 30 min
2. Friends
Jun 7, 1984

Laverne and Shirley Kill Each Other will not be seen at this time so that we may present... You can't put a price tag on friendship. Well, in fact, you can, as Christine sadly discovers when her mother's monthly friendship checks to the cast fail to arrive, leaving Christine friendless.

0.0 30 min
3. Ambition
Jun 12, 1984

Dallas & Dynasty will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast explains their ambitions in life. Christine wants to grow as an actress and begs Ross to provide her with a meaty scene within the show. Ben, meanwhile, wants Ross to adjust the budget so he can star in his own music video.

0.0 30 min
4. Hobbies
Jun 15, 1984

Hobby Days will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine talks about fashion, her latest hobby.

0.0 30 min
5. ESP - Magic Astrology
Jun 20, 1984

The Twilight Zone Gets Redeveloped will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The crew fears a ghost is haunting the studio when strange things start happening. Lisa decides to perform an exorcism to get rid of it. In the sketches, the cast pokes fun at ESP and astrology, as well as magic in sketches like Genie of the Electric Lamp.

0.0 30 min
6. Literature
Jun 21, 1984

Masterpiece Theater will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine tries to become one of the shows writers, while Justin tries to track down the great author A. Nonymous. In the sketches, the cast looks at the classics of literature.

0.0 30 min
7. Clubs
Jun 25, 1984

The Mickey Mouse Club will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine joins a health club, but isn't really interested in the club's healthy atmosphere and Ross involves the kids in an investment club with himself as their broker.

0.0 30 min
8. Foreign Countries
Jun 28, 1984

Around the World in 80 Days will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross appears interested in world travel and foreign cultures, like the rest of the cast. Actually, Ross is only interested in playing "exchange bank."

0.0 30 min
9. Marketing
Jul 3, 1984

Miss Piggy Sold to a Sausage Factory will not be seen at this time so that we may present... To raise money to keep the show on the air, the cast tries to sell water and green slime to viewers.

0.0 30 min
10. History
Jul 11, 1984

The Six Wives of Henry VIII will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast parodies historical events, as Alasdair traces his family history and Christine writes a research essay.

0.0 30 min
11. Body Parts
Jul 12, 1984

Real People's Armpits will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The show's cast competes to see who has the perfect body.

0.0 30 min
12. Technology
Jul 19, 1984

The Electric Company Blows a Fuse will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast takes another look at computers and robots. In the process, Ross tests out an interactive poll system. Viewers are supposed to touch the superimposed green and red squares on the screens to determine what happens next. The result: in the space of four minutes, Luke gets shot, Vanessa is slimed, and Lisa is forced to not say anything.

0.0 30 min
13. Moving
Jul 20, 1984

Mr. Rogers Gets Evicted will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine's family moves into a new house in the hills, a kid on wheels from California catches the attention of his new classmates.

0.0 30 min
14. Halloween
Oct 9, 1984

Boy George Without Makeup will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine puts a spell on Ross that causes evil ghosts to haunt him.

0.0 30 min
15. Christmas
Dec 8, 1984

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Joins the A-Team will not be seen at this time so that we may present... It's Christmas on the set, but there's little peace on Earth in the studio: Alasdair's running around with a helmet camouflaged in mistletoe and two eager lips puckered.

0.0 30 min
16. Holidays
Jan 1, 1985

The A-Team Wreck Disneyland will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast tries to convince Ross to give them a holiday.

0.0 30 min
17. Colleges
Jan 4, 1985

The college football game scheduled at this time between MIT and UCLA will not be seen because "mitucla" is a dirty word in Arundi Barundi. Among the cast's plans for college, Alasdair plans to enter on a video game scholarship but, so far, can't find a university to meet his aim. Ross returns to college so he can enter a profession without kids around.

0.0 30 min
18. Politics
Jan 8, 1985

To Tell the Truth (with guest host Richard Nixon) will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Lisa is nominated by Christine to run for class president.

0.0 30 min
19. Science
Jan 11, 1985

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Wizard will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Alasdair tries to discover the formula for the green slime.

0.0 30 min
20. Divorce
Jan 15, 1985

Family Ties Get Untied will not be seen at this time so that we may present... During their divorce proceedings, the producer's wife takes half the show away - literally half of everything - with strange results.

0.0 30 min
21. Families
Jan 18, 1985

The Partridge Family Get Shot will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross' nephew visits the show, but doesn't get along very well with the cast.

0.0 30 min
22. Malls / Hangouts
Jan 22, 1985

The A-Team Makes One Cup of Coffee Last 5 Hours will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The kids hang out - at the arcade, the library, malls and summer camp, after school, at the Burgery, around the set, outside prison, stores, locker and dressing rooms. They also hang laundry, hang tough, and generally just hang in there.

0.0 30 min
23. Seasons / Weather
Jan 25, 1985

Mr. Wizard Shows You How to Make Rain will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Alasdair makes a weather machine, but it doesn't work correctly.

0.0 30 min
24. War
Jan 29, 1985

The Love Boat Goes on a Cruise Missile Cruise will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Alasdair forms an anti-war group (W.I.M.P.), while Ross argues that war is a necessary evil.

0.0 30 min
25. Jealousy
Feb 1, 1985

Knight Rider Wants a Ferrari will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast is jealous of Christine after she gets a raise.

0.0 30 min
26. Wealth
Feb 5, 1985

Dunking for Dollars will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The series is sold to various foreign countries. Adam acts as millionaire Ronald Rump.

0.0 30 min
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